The C Word... Sorry (I stole this title)

As probably none of you know my family has been through the cancer ringer enough times to stop counting now.

A fellow blogger (Jessica) just wrote about her friend getting cancer (and it seems very advanced for such a young age! good luck to her and her family!)

My mother and sister both has ovarian cancer and it metastasized to many other organs in both of them. They both had massive surgery to evacuate all of the organs that could be taken out and pieces of organs that can't (rectum, intestines, liver, you catch my drift).

My family was fortunate enough to have the BEST gynecological oncologist in the entire world: Dr. Stephen Andrews. (Who now resides as a big wig at The Ohio State University Hopsital)! (You go Dr. Andrews! Thank you for all of your hard work and effort into saving my family! I will never forget you or your staff and I love you with all of my heart. I can never say thank you enough for the extra time that you gave us with our loved ones!)

However, many other women and men are inflicted with this terrible disease every day and it is found too late and there is no cure... not yet!!

I know that sometime in my lifetime there will be a cure. If I am so unlucky and get this disease then I want there to be as many options as possible... as I am sure most anyone would when faced with this situation.

Whatever anyone can do to raise awareness helps. I love doing the Ovarian Cancer Walk!! Love it!! This year I went to the walk and fundraised before and I raised $80. $80 doesn't seem like much but it is more than they had before!! $80 probably wont find a cure but it's $80 to add to someone else's $80 and so on until we have raised enough to learn all we can and do all we can!

Cancer is one of my favorite fundraising causes and it means so much to me when I see other people raising money for these charities that support a cure too!!

Remember: Cancer is a word, not a sentence!

It's Been Rough Lately.

I have not stopped thinking about John lately. I don't know what it is but it just keeps getting harder and harder to get over him. I can't pretend he wasn't part of my life in a major way but I wish I could at least not think about his 23/7.

Does he think of me?
Is he happy with his new girlfriend?
How's his liver?
Does he take his meds anymore?
Does he even need his meds anymore?
What are his doctors saying?
Did he keep any of the things I gave him?
How's he holding up?
Am I the only one struggling to move on?

There are so many questions running through my mind and it is so hard to answer them. I feel like a lot of the relationship was a lie on his part so I don't feel like I can answer those questions.

Everyone always said it would only get easier every day and it hasn't. It's gotten worse.

A couple new changes: My tattoo has healed and I love it! (I'll have to put a picture of the final/ healed . I got my ear's pierced (I am shocked that I did this... I'll have to post pictures of all of this stuff) and my new glasses which no one has seen yet (at least no one that reads this blog).

Well I will be in and out until I really move on and get better. Hopefully people are right and it does get easier ... maybe it wont be by day... maybe by months but I'll keep ya'll posted.

Absent

I have been absent lately... not a big deal but I felt like I should post another post.

I have started school... actually I startd 2 weeks ago but anyways... it's okay... school is school.

I have been having a hard time lately with the whole John thing. I think it's because he was always my support when we were in school and now I don't have anyone.

I have been talking to a lot of people (family and friends) and I think that we have decided that eHamony or match.com would be a good idea for me. I'd only do it for a few months and if nothing happens than just find alternate routes to finding the right guy for me.

I know I will find someone special someday. Right now I'm still getting over the fact that I thought I already has that someone special.

Oh well life moves on.

More later.