Well. It's been a long couple of days.
I haven't slept or ate anything for about 4 days now. I feel like shit but every time I try to eat I just get sick so it's not really worth doing.
Anyways, Monday night, so 2 days ago. John and I ended our relationship. It's no longer a break. It's a true break up. There was crying and screaming and he just wanted to get it over with.
As far as I know and from what I have heard from reliable sources (very reliable) there is another girl in the picture. I guess that's the worst part. I couldn't be good enough for him.
I guess I realize that some day I will move on again but right now I am stuck in a deep deep deep rut that is trapping me and wont let me out. I feel like I need to talk to him one more time and get closure. I don't know how to talk to him anymore though. I need him to understand that I am hurting and he shattered every part of me for a while. I need him to understand what he did is his fault and not mine. I also want to write his parents notes and thank them for everything while we were together.
It's rather difficult working through this in my head and I miss part of having a boyfriend where I had someone to cuddle with and to talk to and to kiss goodnight. I would love to have that again someday but from how I feel now I am worried that I am going to be alone for the rest of my life.
I don't know what to do! I'm just in limbo land. And heartbroken.
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I'm so sorry this happened to you :( A break up is always hard and I hate to think of what you are going through. Try to stay strong and make sure you eat and sleep, you don't want to get sick and feel worse than you already do.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had some friendly advice for you, but I know that won't help anything.