Hello all!
Sorry for the leave of absence. I have had finals all week and last week we were packing John up to go home (*sad*).
Anyways, finals are over and even though they are over it is more torture to wait for the grade... I know without a date that I failed my last one (badly) and I hate that feeling. I seriously studied for 7 days straight! I am not a believer in over-studying and people who believe in that make me nervous and I feel bad when they do bad. Anyways, I looked at my final today and felt like one of the under-studiers because I didn't want to be an overstudier... I'm not sure if that is a word.
On another note. John is leaving early Saturday morning for 3.5 months. That's super sad. I am completely blank when we talk about this. I have no emotion and I hate long distance anything (I know I have already said this). He leaves all the time we get 4 months together when the semester is in progress then he is gone again for months at a time. I guess 8 months out of a year isn't bad. I know it could be worse but I HATE it!
I keep telling myself to be happy while he is here and live in the moment, however, when it gets closer to him leaving I just tense up and close up and don't even feel like living until he gets back (I know thats really bad, sorry). I don't even know how to deal with this yet and it has happened since the very beginning of our relationship. I still haven't gotten use to it... does it ever get any easier!?!?!?
I hate this whole thing. I wanted to have a good summer and now I working 60 hours a week and missing John every second of the day. How am I gonna keep going through this!
=(
About Me
- Julia
- Live in Toledo, Ohio. Student at the University of Toledo. Live a busy life but thats okay, it helps to pass the time. In a very lonely, lost place right now.
Congrats on finals being over, that has to feel good!
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I have dealt with the long distance thing for a long time. He was in the Navy and it was always emotional and really rough right before he'd go on a deployment. I'd clam up, little things would make us both angry at each other, the last few days together were never what we both really wanted them to be. Now 10 years later, we are still going through the long distance thing. It never gets easier, but we end up adjusting to it easier. I'm not sure if it's because the kids keep me busier and his work is more complicated or if we've just adjusted to the way life is?! You've got your family around you which is a wonderful thing. Imagine being in a strange city by yourself and all alone. That's tough!
Keep trying to smile, you'll make it through!