When do I get a break?

I know that this whole ordeal isn't about me but I need a break! I am so exhausted that I am having trouble doing everyday activities!

I don't want to sound selfish and I know that it will come out that way so I apologize in advance! John always gets to lay around and veg and complain because his liver hurts and his kidneys hurt and yadayada hurt... When do I get my chance to lay around and people wait on me and listen to me complain 24/7!?!?

I have 3 tests next week and they aren't regular exams there like make or break my grade exams! I need to study and I need to have time for me! I want to be with John all the time but maybe sometimes we can focus on what Julia wants and not "All about John Time."

I'm sorry to be so rude about it but I have a hard time with all of this too! I'm sad too and I want time to grieve too! Oh well... I guess the time will come when I will have plenty of "alone time" and time to grieve... I just hope that doesn't come too soon! =(

Someone save John PLEASE!! =..(