I don't get to see John until Friday and I am a little heartbroken because we don't spend time apart... except for at night when we go to our seperate homes... and even those few hours suck!
I also have to say that I am a little excited... No more pain in my life for 3 days, no more dying liver, no more jaundice, no more liver for 3 days!! I miss John but definately not his liver...
It's hard to see him living with such an awful liver and I would LOVE it... LOOOOVVVEEEE IT!! if he could get a new one and right now I have almost come to terms with the fact that we just have to wait it out and one day we'll get lucky ducky and find a new liver for him.
Most transplants come from people who die... not from live donors like I wish could happen! Here's the dilemma: I sit here waiting for a new liver for John but that also means I am sitting here waiting for someone else to die so that he can get his liver.
That makes me feel so guilty because so many other people are losing loved ones! I don't want the other people to die but I hope everyday that we will get a call to say "Come on in. We got a good one!" I know it seems like that makes me an awful person but I love John so much and I can't imagine my life without him... I already know that these next 3 days are gonna be brutal and I can't imagine a life without him!
Someone please save John! Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, etc., etc.!
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I left a comment on here yesterday and I see that it never showed up :(
ReplyDeleteAnyways, I think I had said that you really are in a catch 22 situation here. It's no fun to think of someone dying so that John can have a better life. What a yucky thing to think about. Is there anyway that you could have a gathering where people could see if they are compatible with John? Or contact the radio stations (K100 does great things for the community) to see if they can help in anyway by spreading the word? We've had benefits before to help people and it's AMAZING how many people come out to help any way that they can.
I don't know how I can help, so I'll just keep leaving comments with my thoughts and hope that they bring a smile to your face. :)